Sleep Deprived Sleep Advice

Sleep 7 hours?
‘Thanks but no thanks.’ says my body. It doesn’t like to be told what to. Clearly- given that I am writing this at 4am.

I tried to get in a nap yesterday afternoon-my eyes so heavy from a residual of sick, living at a cheetah speed(running), for what seems like a good decade now, and my legs so sore from the 55(broken up) squats I did at 145lb earlier this week.

Oh trust me, I want to sleep. I’m completely aware of the benefits and gains to be had from those 8 perfect hours of zzzz’s I should be getting- least of which being a healthy libido. But seriously though, reaching that level of stage 3 and 4 delta sleep, a juncture beyond where you’re dreaming about unicorns and making out with that random guy from the box, is the environment your body requires to start pumping out a ridiculous amount of growth hormone that cascades into a frenzy of incredible repair, not only on the cellular level but also in that fragile head space of the cerebral cortex.
Cray fatigue inspired rants and actions anyone? Speaking in meows and ignoring hot men with their shirts off? Performing passionate soliloquies(an act of speaking one’s thoughts aloud when by oneself or regardless of any hearers) on the universe’s conspiracy to sabotage your workouts and destroy your ‘healthy’ diet with paleo cookies?
Not entirely inaccurate, but perhaps unnecessary… And more likely the result of needing more sleep.
Lets assume(I know I hate to do it too) for a second that we are fairy rational level headed individuals:  Is it possible then that your occasional ridiculous behavior is a result of compounding interest on the energy you have been borrowing? Have you been forgetting to make payments?
I have- for about 26 years(I probably slept well for the first 4 of my life).
I blame it mostly on excitement.
I’m just so excited, about everything, between the hours of 9pm and 5am. Obviously fatigue will settle in around 5:30am, 15min before my alarm goes off, and then again around 1:55pm when my meetings start.Schemes and plots by the fu**ing government.
So the challenge here is to schedule this brain party for perhaps more reasonable hours, like after 6am, then again around lunch time, and a nice after hours at 3:30pm.

So how do we plan this soiree?
Here is a list I just compiled (at 5:12am) with all the rationality you might expect from a sleep deprived over achiever…

1: Quit your job. It is probably causing stress and requiring you to set an alarm- that’s got to go. Plus you can’t usually take naps at work.
2: Get away from the city glow. False light causing the body to respond with hormone release such as cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine because it thinks it is sun light-this throws the sleep cycle off. So move.
3: Probably get rid of your phone. What if someone calls or texts?
4: Warm milk and a back rub, nightly. Lactose intolerant individuals that live with their cats are out of luck with this one… Start a support group.
5: Exercise produces adrenalin, and cortisol – buZz kills for sleepy time. So best not workout past 3 pm. We want to ease the body and mind into a peaceful ferngully (pre-bulldozer) state of boredom induced fatigue.
6: And on that same note, best not to do anything exciting after 4:15pm. Including: reading murder mysteries, going to self-serve fro yogurt, watching Breaking Bad, or The Bachelorette, sex, foreplay, online shopping, Facebook, or hot tubbing. Just to name a few.

This list should be a good start to get you started on the changes you can make in your life to get that sleep your body so desperately needs.

Here is another one you might consider reading before 3 pm, now that you’ve quit your job and have nothing to do… ;)

And since it is now 5:40am I need to get some sleep myself since my alarm will go off in about 20minutes

I’ll add pictures later. Use the pictures in your brain for now.

Here is a picture of my cat- sleeping

Take notes.

Take notes.

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